


Learn To Love Again

by JenniferWatson



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Grief, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-11 00:40:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16465388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenniferWatson/pseuds/JenniferWatson
Summary: Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco are all seperately struggling to deal with life post war. Follow them on their journey as their secrets are discovered,and as they work out the age old question,Do I listen to my heart or my head?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All rights are purely belong to the Hp Universe & J K Rowling respectively.

It had been a few weeks yet irreparable  
damage had already been done. Although Hermione has become more withdrawn then she normally would have been, she had this wall built within her now. One that she felt trapped behind. She knew how to perfect a fake smile, laugh when needed and how to add to causally add into a conversation when she wasn’t fully listening, if someone asked her if she was okay, her response would be yes every time. 

Sleep had become an issue for her but logically she had suspected that to be normal for what she was going through. Hermione didn’t truly feel she had the right to complain as much as Ron and Harry do. They all lost people they care about expect Hermione could get hers back. It was that exact reason that she told the order that until every thing is finally settled would she risk the memory wipe she had done onto her parents to be reversed. 

She knew today was going to be painful, just she felt there was no way she had the right to communicate this. She asked Mrs. Weasley if it was alright that she stayed with her by owl, a few days ago she got the response back. 

‘Hermione, my love 

You silly girl! You don’t have to ask you know you’re always welcome here. Your as much family to us as our own kids. I know Fred would have felt the same. Bless him. 

Look dear I would like us to talk privately when you get back, Ron tells me that you seem to be doing great all things considered but something tells me your putting on a strong face. That boy of mine I swear, he wouldn’t know something was coming at him till it hit him in the face. 

I can’t wait to see you! I got you and Ginny some girly gifts! Can’t wait to see you at the station 

All My Love’

 

She blankly stared at the girls getting ready as she held the letter to her chest. She let a tear fall as nice as her words were, and of course she felt the same. It couldn’t really fill the void of her parents, her own mum. She got packed and dressed quietly as Ginny and a few other girls were talking ideally about the boys. She had caught Ginny’s eye line, just after she got Crookshanks into her cage. Fake smile to anyone else, easy. To her best friend? Impossible. Hermione put Mrs Weasleys letter in a secret pocket of her robe, and followed the girls out to get the train. 

Hermione was in a cart on the train with the two boys, Ron beside her and Harry opposite, with Ginny and a fleeting Luna. Who often kept floating around other carts. She was social like that. As Ron was joking with Harry about how his mum would be waiting for them all with matching jumpers Hermione remembered the line from the letter. If she hit him now would he even notice. Ginny had loudly coughed making both the boys fall silent. Untill Harry brought up quidditch and once again Hermione rested her head against the window. 

All she could think about is how everyone would be able to run in to a tight hug from her parents but she couldn’t. Almost with the same thought she felt guilty because if she truly wanted to she could. Just now wasn’t the right time. Hermione knew everyone would be slightly different recovering from the war, but she felt as though she never came out. 

Looking out at the scenery passing by through the train window she sighed as she realised she didn’t know how to get back to who she was before it all. While she mourned for everyone they had lost during the battle, she felt as though she had lost herself. Uncharacteristically she had tied her hair into a bun, Ron had mentioned it to her when they got on the train, but she smiled and just said she felt like a change. Boys being boys didn’t know what was really going on with the 1/3 of the golden trio. 

Hermione was snapped from her thoughts as Neville popped his head through the door to let the boys know the food trolley was down the other end of the train. Ron who had hold of Hermiones hand gave it a squeeze.  
“Do you want anything from it?” She looked at him but all she thought was that she was letting him down.  
“Erm no thanks” she tried to give him a smile it just came off awkwardly. She could tell he noticed but he smiled back and just walked out to follow Neville and Harry. 

It wasn’t untill Ginny moved to sit in front of her that Hermione had really noticed how quiet she had been.  
“Do you want to come with me? We will get changed earlier that way we can be more comfortable”  
Hermione didn’t say a word but comfortable kept playing over and over in her head.  
Ginny sensing something was up, took her hand and they both went to get changed. After gathering their clothes the girls headed to the bathrooms where Luna and a fellow Ravenclaw both came out of their rooms at the same time. Usually something as simple as this wouldn’t typically have bothered Hermione but the extra people in a small space started making her chest feel tight. While Ginny lingered to talk to the girls Hermione hurried into one of the stalls pressing her back up against the door. 

‘C’mon pull yourself together the longer you spend getting changed the more someone will think somethings wrong.’ Hermione thought to herself as she neatly folded her robe and placed it on the stand behind the toilet. She suddenly became very aware of herself as she stood in her underwear neatly folding the rest of the clothes. Whispering a concealment charm on her arm for the fourth time that morning she just felt odd. Hurriedly putting on her trusty jeans, a baggy top and a hoody Hermione let herself feel the tiniest bit better once she pulled on her shoes. 

She just stood up when this wave of uncertainty hit her as if she was stood in front of the train. Her mouth open in shock Hermione clutched at her chest. She felt dizzy so much so she had to sit on the toilet. Putting her head down between her legs as she vaguely remembered she tried with her breathing it just wasn’t helping. Slow your breathing she thought to herself but each breath was coming in with more urgency then the last and it was as though she was breathing in cement rather then oxygen. 

She still heard the girls talking but she couldn’t stand feeling enclosed in the cubicle. For the first time in weeks Hermione not thinking ran straight out of the cubicle not caring for her clothes or her friend and ran to the nearest empty cart. Once inside with the doors closed Hermione let out a breath.

Every ounce of her just ached. She slumped into the corner pressing her head against the cold window. Closing her eyes and steadying her breathing she almost felt as though she was calming down when she heard him. 

“Granger.” She couldn’t mistake malfoys smug tone. She heard the click of the doors and foolishly thought he had left, when the reality was he just sat in front of her.  
“Malfoy do you mind just giving me a second of peace after everything you’ve done?” She caught herself not realising she was going to say as much as he did. While he did have a part to play from what happened and while she maintained this religious hatred for the smug idiot, she couldn’t quite help but feel the TINIEST bit sorry for him.  
“Just go and find Pansy, or what ever her name was. I’d rather resurrect Voldemort then sit with you right now.”  
“Who do you think I’m trying to run from Granger? Besides I wouldn’t be in here with you if it wasn’t for Ginny practically begging me to talk to you.” While Draco Hated Weasley, he and Ginny became friends somehow which he couldn’t quite remember but he liked her. He didn’t like most people.  
“One why would Ginny talk to you, and why would you be the Person I would want to talk to anyway? I thought you were second out of our year, it’s a shame they didn’t know you were this stupid.” Hermione stopped herself once again, she knew her jab was childish but he brought out this angry sarcastic side that she didn’t quite like.  
“We’re somewhat friends I suppose. She helped me hide one night when Pansy went off on one again.” He himself wasn’t sure why he was opening up to Granger when he would rather have a heart to heart with Weasley then sit with this know it all.  
“Oh. I didn’t realise you could make friends” Hermione if she wasn’t feeling so rough would have laughed at her insult. Instead she just watched the trees go by.  
“Some say I am charming you know.” Hermione regraded him with a look of disgust, for a second which before now he would have enjoyed, but it bothered him some how.  
Hermione thought to herself how she would have a word with her friend about the choices she was making. She was just thinking about telling Ron but then how could she expect everyone else to open up with what was going on when she herself couldn’t.  
The conflict that was happening inside her head, and her whole body recovering from the cement feeling weirdness Hermione just felt tired. She couldn’t close her eyes, because the moment she does she is back there. Right in the middle reliving it all in its entirety.  
“Why would I talk to you anyhow?” Her voice broke at the end as she was holding back the tears that were desperately urging to come out.  
“You probably don’t, I can’t make you. In fact I don’t quite know why I care.” Draco stood up and went by the door. His hand on the clasp he thought to himself he could just leave this know it all behind and find somewhere else. He felt justified to leave before he heard her sniff. ‘Dammit Granger are you crying?” He sighed umable to turn round,  
“I’ve punched you before malfoy I can do it again.” Her voice sounded totally broken. Sighing to himself Draco placed a silencing charm to block anyone from hearing and a lock so no one could come in. He didn’t know what was happening and it made him feel odd. ‘Malfoys are always in control’ he heard his fathers voice echo in his mind. It frustrated Draco deeply that he wasn’t this time


	2. Messed Up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione feeling as though she has to take this weight on her own, is unaware of the people that are fighting to save her. Including the last person you would expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All rights purely belong to J K Rowling, 
> 
> ** TRIGGER WARNING**  
> Its suggested that stuff is done to hermione's left arm. Personally I am going through the same thing, that being said I will never go into details about what is suggested. Please note there is a happy ending!
> 
> \- I have decided to set the foundations in this chapter to make the next one so much more better! I am so sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, its been a long week. Hopefully you all will like the direction I am going to take this.
> 
> Hope You Enjoy! Keep a look out for the next chapter! <3

Ginny appeared back at their cart, fully expecting to see hermione sitting with the boys, it was Ron who registered the   
look of disappointment.   
"Where is Hermione?" Ron asked shoving food into his mouth.   
"You are asking me. She just ran out of the toilets after getting changed. I thought she had come here."  
Ginny slumped down next to Harry, passing her brother his girlfriends clothes. It is indeed true that all of them are  
going through a hard time right now but Hermione never really showed it if she was. Ron didnt seem to share the same   
concern that she did. She practically had to nudge Harry with her shoulder.  
"OWW!" Harry looked at ginny in confusion.  
She just rolled her eyes and gestured towards Ron who at this moment was busy catching a chocolate frog.  
"Ahh! Got you!" Ginny waited untill her brother sat down before gesturing Harry to speak again.  
"Shouldnt we go find her?" Harry asked getting Rons full attention,  
"She is probably checking to see if the first years are okay. Give it a bit she'll be back."

 

Hermione lifted up her sleeve, fully expecting Malfoy to be gone by now and put another concealment charm on her left arm.  
"Granger" Draco tried speaking softly yet still managed to make the girl jump. Bending down he retrived her wand and gave   
it back to her. Fully expecting her to hit him with something.  
"D...D....D...Did...You..See?" Hermione asked her voice sounding completly broken.   
"No," Draco lied. He did see. With every ounce he truley hated Bellatrix. Yet he also so what else was there, and given   
how Bellatrix had bragged about what she did, he knew it wasnt from her.   
Hermione sighed with releif pulling her sleeve back down and pulling her legs up to her chest. Draco dropped down to the   
seat in front of her, he knew if he tried to ask her anything right now she wouldnt respond. Draco knew in this moment the   
girl looking at him was now a former fragment of who she used to be. He was tyring to think of what to do next when an hour   
had gone by and hermione was now laying down asleep. What was unfolding right before him felt alot bigger then their feud   
that they had going on. Hermione, after his own mother was one strong woman and to see her so broken, he just couldnt   
shake the feeling that he had to do something. Taking off his own Jacket he placed it over her, and left the cart locking  
it and concealing it from prying eyes. Draco started walking towards the lions den. 

"Draco," Ginny spoke suprised, standing infront of him as he walked in. Both of the boys were looking at him in total   
disgust and while this normally brought him some kind of joy, he knew this wasnt the time. He again put a silence charm   
on the cart and sat down next to Ginny.   
"We all know, I wouldnt be in here if I didnt have the choice." Part of him fully expected either weasel or potter to   
land him one as soon as he stepped in. They looked furious granted, but curiosity fuelled them enough to let him continue.   
"Hermione, shes 6 carts down. I covered the room so know one can look in, but she is not herself."  
"How would you know?" Potter spat out at him,  
"I saw her put a concealment charm on her left arm."  
"We all know YOUR sick aunty did that to her." Ron practically shouted at him  
"While I know that Weasly, Bellatrix didnt do all of what I saw."   
Ron stiffened in his seat, the truth was Draco was unsure how to approach the subject with them all but they all caught on   
quick. "Weasly, she's asleep now but can I show you?"   
Through gritted teeth he aggreed to follow Draco back to the cart where Hermione was still fast asleep her arm now hanging  
off the seat. Before they entered the room he turned to weasel, "Look we are by no means friends, I hate you, as you hate me  
theres no change there." Weasel just looked at him with a stoned look across his face, as the boys quietly entered Draco   
reversed the concealment charm on her arm for a breif minute while Ron saw.  
Draco heard voices coming from down the hall so put the protection back up on the cart. He slumped onto the chair opposite  
watching Ron as he stroked his girlfriends hair and kissing her head. He turned back to look at him  
"I owe you nothing. What you have done here DOES not make up for what you did."  
"I am not making threats or trying to make up for what has happend, did you know?"  
Weasel shook his head, both of the boys stopped and stared at her as she stirred in her sleep.  
"Weasly, I dont know how you want to approach this but there is a reason that she hasnt told you or anyone."  
"I know that, Im not an Idiot" Ron hissed back at Malfoy. He couldnt even beleive what was happening right now, or even   
begin to process what he saw. They had all lost so much, but why had she not come to him? Stroking her head again he knew   
if she wasnt here, he would have punched him by now.   
"No, you idiot. I am not saying you are. I dont know her as well as you or Potter, you dont even have to take this on, but   
im putting it out there. To help her, you are going to need to not say anything, just try to be more attentive i guess. I'll  
send an OWL to Mcgonagle and see what she suggests. I can write to you once I know.  
"Thanks I guess. Can you leave now. Take this." Ron removed his jacket and didnt take his eye of the jerk untill he had left.   
It didnt take much longer untill Harry and Ginny found them.   
He had filled them both in on what happend, and as weird as the idea of some low life like him helping them, it didnt feel   
as though they could think of much else. They all agreed to act as if they didnt know, but on the condition they keep a close   
eye out. 

 

One thing they all knew was the war had taken so much already, and It was not going to take her. That they were sure of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please like and review ^_^

**Author's Note:**

> Please Like and Review!☺️


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